Hi friends,
It’s been a while. I’ve lost vision, felt very private and quiet, and been increasingly hesitant about adding more noise to the currents of words constantly coming at us all.
And still, I think every person has a voice worth hearing. So by definition, I have to include myself in that. I absolutely love learning from different human perspectives. Not one is the same as another. How our internal world and external world mix and produce opinions … endlessly fascinating.
I’ve considered turning this newsletter into more of a journal space. Perhaps I’ll use it for myself as a quarterly check-in to highlight salient ideas from the season.
For now, I have a short reflection on building a life you don’t need to escape from. (Rich, coming from a person who has weekly sabbaths and monthly mom breaks. But I do think that’s a part of it.)
Other than the obvious personality differences that will dictate our tastes, and the definite privileges some of us have more than others, I believe we can all be empowered to organize our time and attention in ways that feel good.
I wonder for you, what would make your every day life and grind more fulfilling? Because I don’t know about you but I have a ton more of the normal/boring/hard weekdays than I have of vacation time. It’s worth elevating where we spend the bulk of our time to something grounded, and perhaps even enjoyable.
Below, I’ll reflect on the essentials that make my life one I don’t always want a break from.
In honor of my desire to make “minimalism” or intentions more accessible, you can take just 5 minutes to consider what commitments might make your life actually livable.
For me:
Sleep:
High on my mind today since one child has been waking us frequently at it doesn’t feel awesome. I have prioritized sleep for so long now that it truly baffles me why anyone would choose not to. (There we go with the individual preferences ;) Sleep is the bedrock of health in all aspects. And I want that health, I want it badly. I don’t feel like myself otherwise. I can’t love or serve or enjoy life the way I want to if I’m exhausted. I’m just as tempted as ANYONE to stay up late. I have to take a strong hand with myself to pull off sleeping enough. A couple things I do to woo myself to bed early include: turning off my phone at dinner time; putting on pajamas when the kids do; closing the kitchen right after dinner and not going back in; and always having a book I look forward to. Instead of stressing about being asleep at a certain time, I have a goal to be in bed and reading at a certain time. I read and wind down for however long I like, but it’s definitely “bed time.”
Quality food:
Very similar to the sentiment about sleep. I am someone who needs high nutrient food in order to feel mentally and physically up to the task each day. This is much easier said than done for me because I’m not naturally good with food. The clearest way I can do this for myself is to buy more whole/fresh foods than pre-made things during each visit to the store. And also to reach for food instead of coffee mostly.
Values:
So much I could say here. But a frequent topic for my bff and me is “am I currently living according to my own values or not?” Nothing gets us off track quicker than accidentally or unknowingly acquiescing into certain rhythms and serving values that aren’t our own. This is my number one suspect for draining our energy and constantly looking for a way out of our everyday lives. Off the top of my head I can say simplicity, health, faith, and integrity are some of those values for me.
Exercise:
See all above, hah. Exercise takes a ton of space in my schedule and it pays back in dividends!
Planned rest:
Knowing that I WILL get rest and knowing I will continue to get more chances to rest really helps me work hard when I have to (see: life with young children, neighborhood and family commitments). For me, for years, this has been a weekly religious sabbath, and also at least one day off mom duties per month.
Regular treats:
reading the above, maybe my life sounds like a real snore. But already I’m feeling grateful for the things that serve me and allow me to experience life and love others to my fullest ability. That said, the real opportunity in discipline is that fun and special things actually feel like treats! We get ice cream every weekend and it never stops making me happy. When I started buying ice cream during the week and eating it nightly, it lost its appeal. Having something delicious to look forward to and mark the weekend is a small luxury that I enjoy time and time again.
Equality:
Bedrock to me is making sure my husband and I share responsibility equally. If things are hard (and they usually are) but I know that we are sharing the work equally, then I can work hard and accept life for what it is. However, if things are hard and ALSO feel unequal, then I am way more likely to start clawing at the walls and looking for a way out of whatever exhausting cycle I’m in.
Presence:
Finally, presence. Everything comes back to this for me. It’s why I have most news blocked and all social media off my phone. For me, distraction is the number one cause of confusion and dropping intentions. When my kids are extra needy, I tune in. When my work feels overwhelming, I tune in. When I’m bored, that’s my inner alarm saying I’m letting external forces dictate where I should put attention. And I can usually afford to tune in and work hard because there’s always another sabbath around the corner and I know it comes with ice cream.